Dearest and most faithful guests of the Nook,
I know there has been a dreadful dearth of regular posts as of late, and for this I most earnestly beg your forgiveness. As you may have deduced from all of the magical new wonder and sparkle that you see around you on this glorious new site, though, I’ve been a trifle busy over the past six weeks or so.
So, you’re probably wondering what kinds of things have been afoot in the background lately over here at the Nook, fancy schmancy new website aside. Well, guess what? I can show you just what’s been afoot. Prepare for an OVERWHELMING INUNDATION OF CUTE BABY PICTURES!
And ASSORTED AFOOTEDNESS!
For starters, November was perfectly glorious in every possible manner and it was oh, like, forty five degrees every day. I wanted to wear a bikini around!
…But only because I don’t own a bikini.
Then it started to get cold. Max wore mittens. He calls them “mitts”, which is adorable.
The first few times he wore them, he solemnly held his hands up in front of him and walked around like that and didn’t put them down even in his car seat. It was kind of like jazz hands, only without the “jazz” part. Or possibly like, “Behold the Great Maximos! STAND IN AWE, MORTALS!”
For the record, he did the same thing when he had a bandaid put on his elbow. The funny part was that it was Dada who needed the bandaid, not Max, but Max wanted one, too, and when he had one he held his elbow out in front of him like he was displaying it for the world to see.
I promise this kid can smile. But bandaids are serious business, folks. Even if you don’t need them.
We also found a number (a big number) of old crafts made by my husband as a child while cleaning out closets at his parents’ house.
(By which I mean that we found the crafts while we were cleaning out closets at his parents’ house, not that my husband as a child made crafts while cleaning out closets at his parents’ house. That would just be sad.)
Okay – you know what? Never mind. Children making crafts while in forced servitude isn’t sad.
Papier-mâché gryphons are sad. Especially this one.
Oh, and also sad is the fact that the aforementioned husband said (after initially insisting that we
coat the damn thing in gold and display it on a pedestal in the middle of our bedroom keep it) that I was only allowed to throw the beast away if I took a picture of it first.
So I did. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, friends.
Let’s see. What else? Well, there was Max’s first movie theater experience (Wreck It Ralph). He was so entranced that he barely ate any popcorn or did much of anything beside sit on the literal edge of his seat and stare in amazement without moving for two hours. It was adorable, and rad. It was also a great movie.
Then there was the time I covered the dining room table with garbage bags and broke out the paints and paintbrushes and got to feel like a halfway decent mother for, like, 45 wonderful minutes.
See? BAM with the arts and crafts! Feel free to pin this on your “Stuff I’d Do With My Kids If I Were A Halfway Decent Mom” board (you know perfectly well that’s what it’s REALLY called), by the way:
Go ahead and pin the gryphon, too. I’ll link it to my Imaginary Making a Gryphon In The Closet Tutorial. And then it will go viral. Wait and see.
There was the pantsless wearing of hats (the best way to wear hats, of course):
There were more fun times outside before the snow came:
I am a champion at pumping, by the way. A CHAMPION.
Then there was the bottling of our so-called “Hungarian Dark Oak IPA” (though it really ended up not being an IPA at all, despite all of the Summit hops business going on; more like an ESB, I thought, so the name is liable to be changed by the time we drink it, which should be any day now):
I know it looks like I’m trying to pose like Uncle Rico in the photo above, but I assure you, I’m not. I’m just rockin’ my mad bottle capping skills. (The handle to the bottle capper is really there, I promise; it just looks like it isn’t because it blends into the toaster oven.)(Or you can just pretend I’m trying to pose like Uncle Rico. That’s cool too.)
Then it actually did snow and there was much joy and sledding of sleds:
And there was much joy and the photographing of tree branches that look creepily like the fingers of someone who got stung by a bee and was allergic:
Or like a Mickey Mouse glove:
Or like a chicken foot, only without scales because I was too lazy to draw them:
And there were, of course, a WHOLE GIANT PILE OF CUTE BABIES EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.
Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you?
So, homeslices, that’s what you missed while I was away working on launching the new Nook. Thanks for hanging in there.
Oh, and the obligatory mention of the fact that it’s New Year’s Eve:
Here’s to a delicious and post-y 2013, ladies and gents! Cheers!
Snuggles and rainbow ponies,